


kung dapat mong malaman (nararapat bang aminin ko?)

by yoondong



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, M/M, Not Beta Read, five seconds walang malisya
Language: Filipino
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-13
Updated: 2021-01-13
Packaged: 2021-03-17 16:40:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28728252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yoondong/pseuds/yoondong
Summary: and he knows that voice anywhere. he would recognize it immediately, in a heartbeat. wala nang patumpik-tumpik pa. iisa lang naman ‘yan. mark lee. the subject of his pagh-heart eyes soft boi rant on his private account; last year’s tiger boy; crush ng bayan; dakilang pa-fall pero hindi naman sadya. also one of donghyuck’s best friends.dangerous territory, oo. eh wala namang nakakaalam, at wala rin naman siyang balak umamin. it’s better like this. sa ganitong paraan, walang masasaktan.
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee
Comments: 8
Kudos: 44





	kung dapat mong malaman (nararapat bang aminin ko?)

**Author's Note:**

> akshwali... matagal ko na 'to pinaplano pero tamad lang talaga ako magsulat. five seconds walang malisya mahae au with gaguhan ng dream kasi why not. bilang sheltered kid i would like to apologize for the inuman inaccuracies, most of it is based from kwento from my best friend kasi wala akong alam diyan HAHA yun lang. 
> 
> title is from feel day's pag sinabi. :-)  
> let's b friends on [twitter](https://twitter.com/kodzuhaes) !!

**jaemin:** tara mamaya kila jeno

donghyuck stares at the message sent to him for a solid minute. epekto yata ng kakulangan ng tulog, stress sa classes, at panibagong gawain sa org kung bakit hindi siya makacomprehend. paano ba naman, kasisimula pa lang ng sem pero ang dami na agad na nangyayari. _direk, pwede bang taympers muna?_ hihinga lang? once the gears in his brain kick in and his last working braincell finally, finally realizes na _ah, iinom,_ he thumbs out his reply.

**hyuck:** sa inyo ba? g.

he pockets his phone after that kasi hello, nasa klase pa rin naman siya, may basic manners pa rin kahit gaano siya ka-inom na inom na. nakakaantok last class niya sa araw na ‘to, mostly because their prof pays them no mind. theo pa, which is actually kind of a snoozer, so his blockmates usually just kid around with their prof. he tries to listen naman, he does! pero sadyang nakakaantok lang talaga. yung timeslot pa na 5:30-7:00pm, hindi makatarungan. he zones out, lids falling heavily, nagbabadya nang makatulog siya any minute. he could feel them closing na, head dropping, until his friend elbows him.

“gago, nakatingin sayo si sir,” sabi nito. donghyuck blinks furiously in an attempt to keep himself awake. so much for manners, no? he pinches himself a few times before staring at the powerpoint presentation casted on the tv. the clock reads half an hour until 7pm.

_puta_. hindi na kaya today, pero onti na lang. last day of his classes naman na since they end every thursday. lagi siyang swerte sa schedule kasi palaging monday until thursday lang klase, which is a big help kasi ang hassle bumiyahe pabalik sa kanila tuwing friday. usually, he goes home the morning after kasi hindi pa gaanong dagsa mga tao.

thirty minutes left. kaya niya ‘to.

  
  
  
  
  
  


“asan ka na? ikaw na lang hinihintay!” renjun barks through the phone, making donghyuck’s ears hurt a bit. pagkaingay talaga ng tropa niya na ‘to. mahal niya si renjun, really, but not when he’s being naggy like this. paano ba naman, nagbigay pa ng task yung prof nila kaya nalate ng dismiss. on the way siya ngayon sa booth nila sa r101, magpapakita lang sa mga co-staff niya. hindi siya nakatoka today kaya malaya siya mag-inom to his heart’s desire. nakakahiya lang kasi kapag di siya sumipot. “kalmahan mo nga,” he replies, slithering his way through the throng of people. dismissal na kasi ng karamihan kaya ang daming tao. the plaza’s full of people too, but he navigates through them smoothly. “dadaan lang ako saglit sa booth namin. miss mo naman ako agad.”

renjun laughs on the other line, “ikaw kasi magtitimpla! ang bobo ni jeno eh, ‘di ko ba alam bakit iba lagi kinalalabasan kapag siya yung naghahalo.” the person in question yells a _“condo ko na nga gamit niyo, excuse me!”_ ang gugulo ng mga kaibigan niya, but he wouldn’t trade them for the world.

“andiyan na ako, hintayin niyo lang. pagtiisan niyo muna yung kay jeno,” donghyuck almost bumps into someone but his quick reflexes save the day. nakikita niya na yung booth nila, so he ends the call na.

“kuya!” he says to their talents director moon taeil, enveloping him into a hug. “sorry, katatapos ko lang. ilan na yung nag-apply?”

  
  
  
  
  


it takes him fifteen minutes chatting with his orgmates and probably another ten to get to jeno’s apartment. he resides in dapitan, one of the older, worn houses there, kaya babalik na naman siya ng AB; pero kapag dito ka nag-aaral, you get used to all the walking after a while. besides, it’s great exercise rin. yet donghyuck pauses in the middle of the sidewalk kung saan hindi matao to catch his breath. he reaches for his water bottle (naimpluwensyahan siya ng mga blockmates niya na bumili ng hydroflasksksksk) only to find it empty. inubos ng tropa niya, sabing refillan eh. he stares at the water container sadly. 

ibabalik na niya ito sa bag when a familiar voice calls his name.

_“hyuck!”_

and he knows that voice anywhere. he would recognize it immediately, in a heartbeat. wala nang patumpik-tumpik pa. iisa lang naman ‘yan. _mark lee_. the subject of his pagh-heart eyes soft boi rant on his private account; last year’s tiger boy; crush ng bayan; dakilang pa-fall pero hindi naman sadya. also one of donghyuck’s best friends.

dangerous territory, oo. eh wala namang nakakaalam, at wala rin naman siyang balak umamin. it’s better like this. sa ganitong paraan, walang masasaktan. (save for him, pero okay na, right? he can heal naman… sana.

tanginang sana ‘yan.)

  
  
  
  
  


“hyuck! pa-saan ka?” binalik ni donghyuck ang hydroflask sa bag niya at hinintay makasunod si mark, who was lagging a few steps behind. under the flickering streetlights, he looks… beautiful. katatapos lang din yata ng klase niya, one strap of his backpack strung on his shoulder, the other loose. mukhang nagmamadali rin with the way he’s panting, which makes hyuck laugh. “oh, pagod na pagod ka ata?”

mark catches up to him, which makes him tense up a little. _oh, ‘wag magulo. ‘wag pahalata. para namang gago eh._ “kanina pa kita tinatawag!” mark tells him, properly adjusting his bag. “‘di mo yata ako naririnig, busy ka sa iba.” they fall into step naturally.

“anong busy sa iba,” he hits mark on the arm playfully. “wala kaya akong naririnig.”

“‘di mo ako sinagot,” mark looks at him, making his heart skip a beat. _luh, parang tanga._

“bakit, nanliligaw ka ba?” _lee for three!_ ang tapang talaga, mga kaibigan. sobrang tapang, akala mo naman talaga! pero kapag siya binalikan ni mark, siguradong tiklop si donghyuck. “kila jeno, iinom. ikaw ba?” he’s flirty by nature, gan’on lang talaga siya, pero kapag si mark binabanatan niya eh iniisip niya na sana, _sana_ seryosohin naman siya.

ang lakas ng tawa ni mark. _mukha ba akong nagbibiro, ha?!_ sheepish, donghyuck makes a left and his friend follows. jeno’s place isn’t far from where they are now, pero hindi pa rin alam ni hyuck kung saan pupunta si mark. paano kung hindi pala siya imbitado? paano kung sumama ito sa kanya? normally it wouldn’t be a problem, eh paano kung sila sila lang pala?

“kila jeno rin,” mark finally answers, putting an end to the questions in hyuck’s mind. buti naman, kasi it would be embarrassing. it wasn’t like they were friends, pero minsan kasi nag-aaya si jaemin na silang apat lang. most of the times alak-free, magr-readings lang sila until it turns into a kwentuhan session na inaabot ng madaling araw.

jeno used to kid na d’on na lang sila tumira, and honestly, hyuck doesn’t mind. his dorm in espanya’s too far from him, mostly because late na siya naghanap and he became far too busy para mag-asikaso ng panibago. it serves its purpose naman, tinutulugan niya lang, kaya hinayaan niya na rin. living with his best friends would be a dream, and he hopes by the next semester he’s persuaded his parents enough to finally allow him to live with them.

he makes a hum of affirmation, nodding kahit hindi naman makikita ng kasama niya. “kumusta classes mo?” hyuck asks, in an attempt to make small talk. usually hindi sila magkanda-ugaga kung sino muna magk-kwento. it’s surprising how they’re both quiet ngayon, but hyuck thinks it’s… nice. it’s a comfortable kind of silence, something that he’s not used to, but he doesn’t mind.

it’s always like that with mark. he doesn’t mind.

“good naman,” mark replies, “busy, pero what’s new? at least okay mga profs namin.” he whistles, hands shoved in his pockets. “grateful for the distraction.” and hyuck doesn’t prod any further, but he knows it’s about the girl he’d been seeing over the summer.

he doesn’t ask, because he knows mark will fully tell them the kwento soon enough. he doesn’t ask, kasi he doesn’t know if he’s ready to hear it. 

_kung ako, ‘di kita gaganyanin. ‘di mo mararamdaman ‘yan sa akin._

soon enough, they arrive at jeno’s, an older house sa isa sa mga eskinita d’on. he used to live with his cousin, pero nakagraduate na at nangibang-bansa kaya mag-isa na lang uli siya. his place is home to their group’s deep talk sessions (grabe, ang scam ng gagawa raw ng plate, bakit may humahagulgol dito?!), inumans, and group study ayaans. this house has witnessed them celebrate their victories, cry over heartbreak, and everything else in between.

“hoy, jeno lee!” donghyuck yells, forgetting they were, in fact, in a street with other people. mark, on the other hand, calmly presses the doorbell.

a few moments and jeno comes opening the door, greeting the two of them with a smile. “buti nagkasabay kayo!” he says, enveloping them in a hug. “dalian niyo, inaaway na ako ni renjun. ‘wag daw ako yung magtitimpla.” this elicits a laugh from the two of them, hurrying inside the house, leaving their shoes by the door kasi #typicalasianthings. 

bungad yung _“hay, salamat!”_ ni renjun from his perch sa isa sa mga upuan sa kitchen, kung saan nagtitimpla siya ng dalandan juice sa pitsel, hoodie sleeves folded up until his elbows. the house itself isn’t big, but it’s homey enough for the boys to hold their gatherings there. jaemin pops his head from the fridge kung saan kumukuha siya ng yelo, smiling at them.

“oh, asan na, asan na?” hyuck shrugs off his uniform polo and sets it on the couch along with his bag, making his way towards the two boys in the kitchen. mark shortly follows, phone in hand, uniform also discarded with their things.

“pupunta ba sila chenle?” tanong ni mark, eyeing the food on the table. “kimbap pulutan? totoo ba kayo?” jeno busts out laughing as he joins them, taking his place next to renjun who lets out a very stressed _“si jaemin kasi!”_.

the boy in question drops a bowl of ice cubes before sitting down on an empty chair. “wala nang inihaw kasi,” he explains, a pout evident. “at least hindi tulad nung huli!” which they all shudder at. kimbap is better than that time na namulutan sila ng… koko krunch. putangina. the thought was far too horrendous to look back on. 

“kahit mani man lang sana,” donghyuck says, habang sinisindihan yung gin. he brings the lighter to the opening, shakes it slightly, before pouring a little amount onto the pitcher. he does this a few more times until the bottle is completely empty.

renjun whistles, “beteran talaga, hayop!” the other boys laugh in agreement. “hindi sila makakapunta pareho, may deadline mamaya si chenle, si jisung naman may project pa. sabi ko pwede namang dito na lang gumawa eh.”

“etong si chenle kala mo hindi pumapasok nang may hangover minsan,” jeno comments, habang nagbubukas ng chichirya. jaemin scoops a handful of clover barbecue, making renjun shoot daggers at him.

“ikaw lang naman gumagawa n’on,” donghyuck laughs, throwing a plastic wrapper from the table at him. renjun shifts his gaze at him.

“‘wag ka ngang magmalinis diyan!”

  
  
  
  
  


a few rounds of tagay later, ilang _‘tangina, ako na naman? ang dugas niyo naman!’_ , and a nearly finished plate of kimbap despite earlier complaints later, most of them are buzzed. out of all of them it was donghyuck who had the highest tolerance, with jeno being the resident lightweight. buti na lang lagi sa kanila yung inuman kasi hindi mahirap alagaan. renjun always complained about having to look after jeno while they partied out at clubs, claiming he can’t properly enjoy pero siya rin naman yung unang umaakbay palagi.

“truth or dare tayo,” jaemin slurs, eyes droopy. he takes his shot and holds on to the glass.

renjun rolls his eyes. “bitawan mo muna yung baso, tanginang ‘to eh.” jaemin nods, reaching for the pitcher kung saan nakakalahati na nila. 

“gago, shenglot na.”

“utuin niyo dali, tapos videohan natin!”

“putangina mo, donghyuck. maawa ka. wala nang imahe ‘yan sa susunod na birthday niya.”

“edi ‘wag sa birthday ipost, pwede naman ngayon na--”

  
  
  
  


donghyuck _hates_ his friends. he hates them with a burning passion. fuck. hindi niya alam how he ended up in this situation, locked in jeno’s bathroom with mark lee. the rest of their friends are snickering outside the door, drunken giggles and shouts of _“ang tagal naman!”_

right now, he can feel his face burning red. he wasn’t _drunk_. a little tipsy, yes, kasi gin pinya lang naman--he’s had way worse combinations that led to vomiting at past midnight, clutching at the toilet bowl, making promises he would not be drinking again. he was lightheaded not because of intoxication, but at the thought of having to kiss mark lee.

he can feel renjun’s voice echoing, _“parang wala pang kumikilos ah!”_

beside him, mark lee is fidgety. he was looking everywhere _but_ donghyuck’s eyes, refusing to meet his gaze. donghyuck doesn’t blame him, really, because the situation was weird as _fuck_ enough as it is. he fiddles with the hem of his undershirt. kabado.

donghyuck manages a cough. “so. ayun.”

mark stifles a laugh, “why are you so stiff right now?” and donghyuck so badly wants to 1) answer as honest as possible and 2) fucking kiss him already, but there were so many things running through his head, feeling like it was going to explode any minute.

“‘wag ka nga tumawa, para namang tanga eh,” reklamo niya. why was mark laughing? why wasn’t he panicking like him? ah, oo nga pala, siya lang kasi ‘yung may feelings dito. mark’s reaction to what was happening right now clearly says so much about how he feels towards donghyuck, which was… nothing. he merely sees him as a friend and nothing more. baka kasi hindi pa siya nakaka-move on over his previous crush(?) fling(?) relationship(?) niya. whatever it is, it makes so much sense now. he could feel the heaviness of his chest, parang may pumipilipit dito. god, he feels so shitty right now.

the elder boy finally, finally meets his gaze. naramdaman ni hyuck yung pag-ikot ng sikmura niya, but the bigat is still weighing on his chest. the look mark gives him is soft, reassuring, and the very reason why he fell for him in the first place was dawning on him now.

“so--”

donghyuck clears his throat. “‘di mo naman kailangan gawin,” he says, kicking the door in case one of their friends were eavesdropping. “i also want to apologize, nadamay ka pa tuloy rito.”

a sound of interjection. “yeah, well, kaibigan ko rin naman sila,” he answers matter-of-factly. “and about your, uh, feelings--”

“pwede bang ‘wag na muna natin pag-usapan,” donghyuck pleads, desperation laced in his voice. “hayaan mo, mawawala rin ‘to.” god, he sounds so pathetic like this, downplaying his feelings in a cramped bathroom with his best friend na matagal na niyang gusto. even if he _does_ want to talk about it, ‘di niya rin naman alam sasabihin.

it’s hard not to fall for mark. for the long time they’ve been friends, he’s been nothing but patient, understanding, and… perfect. it was no surprise when he actually ended up figuring out his feelings kasi matagal-tagal na rin naman siya inaasar ni renjun tungkol dito. _“friends pero ganyan ka tignan? bobo ka ba?”_ kaya rin talaga lumala naramdaman niya kasi puro pang-aasar mga kaibigan nila eh. facebook was right, diyan nga talaga nagsisimula ‘yon.

the door clicks. finally. donghyuck gets up to dust off his uniform slacks and strangle the rest of their friends when mark pulls on his wrist. this makes him look at the older boy weirdly. _puta, pwede ba. ayoko makipag-usap._ “ano ba kasi--”

mark cups his face and kisses him, promptly shutting him up. donghyuck melts into it almost entirely, taken aback by the motion, but regains consciousness quickly. he kisses back with the same intensity, trying to match with the pace mark is going at, kasi he is definitely _not_ going to let this go to waste.

maraming tumatakbo sa utak niya. was mark doing this out of pity, o gusto niya rin ba talaga siya? eh how could it explain the fling he’s had over the summer kung gusto niya nga si hyuck? ano mangyayari sa kanila rito? will this be a one time thing? _paano kung pumasok bigla sila jeno?!_

it is mark who pulls away first, but donghyuck is just as breathless. there’s a small smile on his face. _“oh, ‘di lang five seconds ‘yun ah."_


End file.
